My Story - My Childhood at a Glance (Part 1)

I was born James Arnold Browncloud, adopted from two freethinking drug using parents in 1975, into the Allen household of the Ada and Byng locations of Pontotoc County in Oklahoma. My birth parents were products of the Hippie Era and traveled around in a Volkswagen van going to the likes of Grateful Dead and other "Stoner" music venues in the country. They were like gypsies and never had a real home. I know my biological father's name was Reginald Magnus Browncloud III and my biological mother's first name was Maud but she changed it to fit the Hippie monikers and was something like 'LongLips'.

I later found out that my biological father's surname 'Browncloud' was a given name by his former tribe, the Chickapees of North Georgia, and was insulting,  meaning 'to break wind'. Presumably because his ancestors were infamous for their gas problems in the tribe. The Chicakpees lost a battle to Union forces in 1850 allegedly because of one of our relatives who farted so badly that the position of ambush was ruined and the Braves found.

High on elicit narcotics they were judged too unfit to raise me and I was taken by Social Services while still in the hospital just hours after my birth. I didn't know this until just five years ago when the papers came to me after my parents passed away in a nudist camp from a canoe accident in August, 10th, 2008. The Allen family took me in and made me one of their own in a short time. Papers were filed and court hearings given to make me one of their family in Ada. I was weened off the residue drugs in my system from my mother, who was so high at the time of my birth that she did not need extra medication to have me. This process took the first three years of my life, in which time I was developmentally challenged and had to be watched constantly by my new parents, more than usual children. Stories of my 'mental illnesses' to this day are accused by my stalkers but they do not know the depth of truth in my situation and how dire it really is, fortunately for them.

In 1978 I took an awful fall on the swing set at Wintersmith Park and cracked my head on a large rock. The injury was so tremendous that it required a week in the hospital with some side effects that I suffer to this day. Later, my parents said that I was 'never the same' after this accident. Blood was everywhere and I now had severe brain damage, not reversible over time. I was unable to walk for a time because this accident damaged my equilibrium critically and my speech was now slurred. This wound now stalled my learning process enormously I did not enter Kindergarten until I was almost seven. My memories of those years are blurry in places.

By the time of 1979 I was being fed by my parents and had to learn slowly how to speak. My learning was altered by a combination of drugs and injuries even before I was able to know it, of course I was only four years old. Apparently I was dressing up in my sister's baby clothes and was not aware of it. Many times I had to be stopped, punished and told to 'correct' my wardrobe before we went out to places. I remember one day I was taken to school and had carried with me a second set of clothes, and when we had recess I ran off to change into my sister's dress in the bathroom. When I returned no one knew who I was for a time and thought I was a lost child from another school that somehow was left, but I wasn't. Once the teachers realized who I was calls were made and my parents came to pick me up very angry. This was in 2nd grade I believe.

In 1982 I was caught trying to have sex with our family dog, at the time I didn't know it was happening. "Roofy' was not fighting it, and seemed to love it, but my dad tore me away from the animal and punished me, grounding me for a month, and this was before the Atari system was out, so there is little to do but sit in my room. Our family hadn't bought Pong yet, but little did I know that these gaming platforms would supply my destiny someday ('Beyond War').

I did however hold to the hope that once I was older, people would be better, and the abuse would end. It did not. In sports, I could not breath. In physical events, I was pulled out and given a note. But it was never made clear why. Most assumed I had asthma, though I had no such symptoms. Only years later would I learn it was because I was born with more than a few unique features. What I grew up believing was "normal", people tell me is far from the truth. What people said, not knowing what they were looking at, was worse. I learned hate, before I learned any other emotion. Because hate was and to this day is most of what I am given, for being "slightly different".

At birth my feet were flat, my fingers long, my legs weak, and my breastbone inverted. All signs of a disease passed from father to son, known as Marfan's Syndrome. Contrary to what many doctors once believed, Marfan's does not make its victim's slow or mentally deficient. Many people have it, with a 1 in 5000 ratio, making it not so uncommon yet not pleasant either. Severe cases can be life-threatening. Mine was, then, so mild that it was not clinically diagnosed. The symptoms - as the disease is a connective tissue and cellular protien synthesis disease - only became apparent much later.

Symptoms include digestive pain, sensitivity to light (due to thin corneas now measured by my optometrist), pale sometimes elastic skin - which can make my natural smile seem far too broad and absurd, and high blood pressure in the early teens leading to heart failure, dialation of the heart valves, organ failure, and death. Under ideal conditions, 65 years. Realistically, 45 without care, or less under torture or prolonged stress.

After 1984 I finally was given an Atari for Christmas and it took no time before I acquired over 120 games and began to reverse engineer this in my young mind. I knew it had to come from somewhere and be made by a technology that I could not comprehend and wanted to know more. The colors, sounds and themes dazzled me and I wanted to live, eat and breath Atari.

I forgot to change clothes, bathe and even eat after a while and was an early version of the often remarked hardcore MMORPG player as shown in Southpark:

On a related note, once I was in Junior High in Byng I formed a video gaming club years later and I did name it 'Shadow Dancers', after my favorite song from Barry Gibb 'Shadow Dancing'. My class photo from this era is a little shameful...

I was still chubby and had to lose many pounds, but I was still green in the world, gaming and my Transgender future. I had no idea what the 80's and 90's would have in store for me. My best friend Nathaniel Zeke Campfield at the time did not complain about it, he looked even funnier then. Together we will discover our sexuality, not with each other. He by his uncle and me with a Circus midget in the dressing room, his name was 'Big Bob' and he was the top clown in the show that would come through town often each year. It was an odd experience and one that I still recall to this day, it was one more piece in my Transgender puzzle that was unfolding day by day. Here is a picture of Big Bob: